Mother’s Reflections

On Red/White Martyrdom

March 17, 2023

A reflection by Mother Maria-Michael Newe, OSB

Watercolor of the stream running through the Abbey property

I was reading a little bit about the history of relics, and discovered that in the first centuries after Christ’s life, they would build altars over the places where martyrs were killed for the Christian faith. It is from that practice that we get the tradition of placing relics in the altars of Catholic churches when they are being constructed. It is good to remember those who have gone before us and laid down their lives for Christ; those martyrdoms are what our Church is built on. And it is good to remember that there are many unknown martyrs, who Christ knows so well.

I think especially of the white martyrs – the monastics. We are called to be martyrs, and give ourselves up for the love of Christ. We embody in a particular way the Gospel passage where Jesus’ relatives think He is “out of his mind” (cf. Mark 3:21). Isn’t that what some people think about martyrs? “Why are you dying for that?!” Similarly, many people wonder about people who choose to live the monastic life: “Why are you doing that?!” There is the red martyrdom, where blood is shed, and only God can give the grace for someone to have the courage for that. Only God can give the grace for someone to embrace white martyrdom, too. To live so closely to each other in community, serving each other even when there are difficulties and personality clashes, denying our self-will, following a schedule every day – these are all little martyrdoms that our world does not understand. The world may think we are a little crazy, but thank the Lord! Our ways are meant to be different than the world’s.

Really, every person is called to a type of martyrdom. Marriage is a type of martyrdom. Any vocation can be a martyrdom if lived well, because every vocation is meant to bring us to holiness, to bring us closer to Christ, to bring us to imitate Him Who gave up His life for the love of others. Being faithful to whatever God calls us to is the important thing, and that is one thing that is very mysterious to our culture: fidelity. Thank the Lord if people call you a little crazy, because they called Jesus a little crazy, too.

Their action resembles the snow which, covering the heights, is melted by the warm rays of the sun, and descends in life-giving streams to fertilise the valleys and plains.
Dom Columba Marmion, OSB, Sponsa Verbi

Stepping Out

February 28, 2023

A reflection by Mother Maria-Michael Newe, OSB

We all know the story of Christ calling St. Peter out to walk on water. When the apostles saw Jesus walking on the sea toward them, Peter said, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water” (Matt. 14:28). Christ tells him to “come,” so he steps out of the boat onto the water, but then he begins to sink and cries out. This episode shows how evil tries to make us doubt. That is one of the tools that evil tries to use against us – to doubt our faith, to doubt God’s love for us – and that is not from God.

When Jesus stretches out his hand to catch Peter from downing and says, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” (Matt. 14:31), I don’t think He was rebuking Peter in a harsh way, or criticizing Peter for messing up again. I think Jesus was simply saying, “What made you think I wasn’t calling you forth? Don’t depend on yourself, but keep your eyes on Me, and follow through with confidence. You can trust Me.”

There is a point when we should actually doubt ourselves, and that is if we haven’t prayed. But if we have prayed first, and we feel confident about receiving direction from the Lord, then we should continue with confidence, and not let anything make us turn to the left or to the right. It is for us to put our trust in God, and not fear, and never take our eyes off Him. And if ever we begin to doubt, we should immediately call upon Him, like St. Peter did, and He will take care.

Our Sister Maria of Jesus, OSB, stepping out in faith and love, professed her solemn monastic vows on February 10! Adding to the already glorious occasion of the Solemnity of Saint Scholastica, Sister Maria’s profession day was a truly blessed and joyous one, and we were happy that so many of her loved ones were able to join us for the celebration. Click here to read an article from the Denver Catholic about Sister Maria’s Solemn Profession.

Archbishop Samuel J. Aquila calls Sister Maria forth to begin the rite of monastic profession
Sister Maria processes to the front of the church carrying her profession candle
During the Archbishop’s homily
Professing her monastic vows in the hands of Mother Maria-Michael
Singing her “Suscipe”
The Archbishop prays the prayer of monastic consecration over Sister Maria
Clothed with her new veil and cuculla (choir robe)
The Archbishop places her ring on her finger
Singing the “Ipsi Sum”
Presenting her candle to the Archbishop
The perfect picture to describe the motto Sister Maria took: “Looking to Jesus, Who emptied Himself”
The Archbishop’s closing remarks
Mother Maria-Michael and Sister Maria processing out of the chapel at the close of the celebration

All photos courtesy of André Escaleira, Jr. / Denver Catholic

A 2023 Resolution: Kindness

January 21, 2023

A reflection for the New Year by Mother Maria-Michael Newe, OSB

In 1 Corinthians 2:10, St. Paul says, “Brothers and sisters: The Spirit scrutinizes everything, even the depths of God.” You know what he doesn’t say? He doesn’t say that the Spirit criticizes; he doesn’t say that the Spirit murmurs. He just says that the Spirit scrutinizes.

What’s the difference? To scrutinize means to examine or inspect closely. You really, really look hard at it. To criticize actually means to indicate the faults of someone or something in a disapproving way. That’s criticizing, and a murmur is a soft, indistinct sound by a person or a group speaking quietly at a distance.

When there’s something in you that starts criticizing everything about yourself, I think you need to turn it off and not listen to it. There’s a time when we can critique ourselves, which means to look and be able to see a balance of good and bad. But criticizing yourself – to speak so negatively – I don’t think that’s what God wants for us.

We need to pay attention to these things because usually what you do to yourself, you will do to others. When you’re really hard on yourself, guess what? You won’t notice when you’re hard on someone else. And you don’t even mean it, but it’s just your way of thinking that’s come out.

Then, in 1 Corinthians 4:5 St. Paul says, “He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness, and will manifest the motives of our hearts.” But the more wonderful thing is that he goes on to add, “And then everyone will receive praise from God.” He’s actually anticipating praise! What a way to live! Do you live like that? When we have that way of living, anticipating good, it changes how we hear and see things. Instead of seeing black, we see that the dawn is coming; instead of seeing just the negative, we give the positive the first place.

In your desire to achieve great holiness, it’s in making those little changes. It’s the little things that make a lifetime. Think of that today: the little voice with which you speak to yourself. How is it? Know, however you’re speaking to yourself, everyone else will become aware of it. So don’t judge yourself or others too harshly. You too must know that you have a good intent. You too must know that, deep within you, you really mean well, and so does your neighbor.

Be kind to yourself, and you’ll be kind to others.

Photos from our chapel this Christmas season

…Give his people knowledge of salvation

through the forgiveness of their sins,

because of the loving kindness of our God

by which the daybreak from on high will visit us

to shine on those who sit in darkness and death’s shadow,

to guide our feet into the path of peace.
Luke 1:77-79

Advent: He Is Coming!

December 17, 2022

A reflection by Mother Maria-Michael Newe, OSB

One of the first readings the Church gives us during Advent is from the book of Revelation: “‘These words are trustworthy and true, and the Lord, the God of prophetic spirits, sent his angel to show his servants what must happen soon.’ ‘Behold, I am coming soon.’” (Rev. 22:6-7). And that’s Advent. He is coming soon. Either we will see Him when He comes in the clouds, or we will see Him when we die and He comes to us, but one way or another we will see Him! Am I ready? Am I ready to see Him? I think that we should have great joy when we think about this, not because we are confident in ourselves, but because we are confident in Him. We should put great confidence in Him alone.

Then we will have a great sense of joy about His coming, and we will strive to live for Christ purposefully at every moment, so that when He comes we are ready. Part of that means being present to our prayer very purposefully, being present to each other very purposefully, giving a good example very purposefully. Take the time to notice one another. Don’t be too busy to notice those who are closest to you – those you whom you may take for granted. Take the time to encourage one another. Now is the time. Now is the real time of joyful conversion. Don’t wait, even an hour. Begin. Let each moment be a new beginning. And then how bright would this world be – how bright!

Mother Maria-Michael praying in the Chapel this Advent with our postulants Clare and Caitlin

I also want to point out that in one of the special collects (prayers) that the Church has during Advent, we implore the Lord that “when He comes and knocks, He may find us watchful in prayer and exultant in His praise.” He comes and knocks in a special way during this season, and it is for us to ask ourselves, “How does God knock on my soul? Is my soul attentive? What are the deepest desires of my soul?” The season of Advent is the season of silence, so that you can be aware of what is going on in your soul, not only the negative things, but also the joyful things. What do you do throughout the day that makes Christ say, “I’m so happy I knocked on your door!”? The silence of Advent is a joyful silence, kept so that we can hear His footsteps when He comes, so that we can hear His voice. It’s a happy waiting, like a child at Christmas waiting for Santa Claus to make noise on the roof. It’s that sense of waiting in expectation, of asking: “When is it going to happen?” You don’t want to miss it. That’s the joyful silence of this season.

And if anyone feels like a lost sheep this Advent, just remember the importance of crying out to the Good Shepherd to be found. Why would someone not cry out? Shame? Pride? Self-reliance? But the Lord hears the cry of the poor, and He wants to find you and be found by you this Advent. So remember to cry out to Him, and let yourself be found!

Shake the Dust Off

November 19, 2022

A reflection by Mother Maria-Michael Newe, OSB

“Whatever place does not welcome you or listen to you, leave there and shake the dust off your feet in testimony against them.”
Mark 6:11

I have to laugh when I imagine Jesus teaching His followers that they don’t have to fight people who don’t agree with them – they can just shake the dust from themselves (c.f. Mark 6:11). Not everything that sticks to you is mud. Most of the time it’s just dust. And you have to know how to discern that. Don’t see everything as big heavy weights. It’s as if Jesus asks us, “They’ve been mean to you? Shake the dust off! Why worry about it?” What a nice way to handle it. Sometimes we have to physically do something to shake off the dust; when something is really painful or hurtful, if we don’t physically do something it can run around in our heads. But a way to stop it is to physically do something.

I think hearing and understanding Jesus’ words tells us a little bit about how Jesus Himself had to handle things. How He took things, so that it wasn’t so heavy for Him. He didn’t let it become heavy. It was a choice: He could be upset, mad, and let it run around; or He could just shake off the dust, turn around and go to the Father. You don’t have to do it noticeably all the time; you can go into the inner corner of your heart and shake off the dust. But I would suggest that you find something to do so that you don’t carry around the dust of the world on your shoulders. Otherwise it just all collects.

One of the most helpful ways to shake the dust off is to turn to the Scriptures. Through the Scriptures the Holy Spirit speaks loudly. That’s so often how things are answered.

Cherish the Scriptures. Put love into reading them. Pray them. This should cause our hearts to love more. It should cause us to want to do more. It should teach us how to love more. True prayer will make us love others more. It won’t make us separate. Although as nuns we may appear separated because we’re cloistered, for us, praying with the Scriptures makes us love more in a different way, in the sense of bringing people before the Lord in prayer, caring about their cares. True prayer should bring us even more together. It is a happiness, a joy, to be united to all those you love in the Spirit. Let your prayer bring you to that place. It should really root us together in that way, and then it won’t be a surprise in Heaven when we’re together, too.

Padre Pio’s Example

September 23, 2022

“You ought to ask the Lord for just one thing: to love Him.”
PADRE PIO

“Joy, with peace, is the sister of charity. Serve the Lord with laughter.”

A reflection by Mother Maria-Michael Newe, OSB

St. Padre Pio is a favorite of many; you cannot but love him. His whole life was one of suffering, yet he was known to have a great sense of humor. He also had a righteous temper! Padre Pio knew what sin was, he knew exactly how it separated people from God, and he took offense at it.

The example of Padre Pio reminds me of what we read in the book of Haggai. Haggai 1:7 says: “Consider your ways/Reflect on your experience.” If we are serious about our lives, we will do just that. Monastic tradition dictates that we reflect on our lives particularly twice a day: at noon and in the evening at Compline.

“God’s spirit is a spirit of peace, and even when we have serious faults, he grants us a tranquil, humbled, confident pain which depends entirely on his mercy.”
PADRE PIO

We reflect on our day for the purpose of conversion. It’s not to take into account everybody else’s faults; it’s to account for our own reactions. I’m responsible for my reactions. Yes, people can push my buttons: they can be nasty, they can do all kinds of things, but that doesn’t mean that I have to react badly. The reason we are to consider our ways is so that we can change them. Beware of going through life saying “it’s everybody else’s fault.”

We also play a part in how we are to our [brothers and] sisters. Don’t push people’s buttons. If you know something hurts them, be aware of it. Go the extra mile to be kind in that area. Be aware of the weaknesses of one another. What we can do to help one another, we’re responsible for doing.

“Consider your ways” (Haggai 1:7). People are saying “Oh no… no-no… it’s not the time for that. It’s not the time to build the house within” (cf. Haggai 1:2). That’s what the world says, but God says it is the time. How are we supposed to do it? Read again in Haggai, “Go up into the hill country; bring timber, that I may be pleased with it, and that I may be glorified, says the Lord” (Haggai 1:8). Bring the Cross. Carry It. Follow Him.

Remember Who Christ is in your life. Keep Him before you daily. Every moment. Seek His Face every single moment.

The Cross of Believing
I will give up my idols of silver and gold
So that my hands may be free to embrace the bronze
Serpent, mounted on the pole,
That is Christ the Lord,
Crucified for the unworthy.
And I will carry this cross wherever I go —
This burden, both sweet and light,
Of believing that this God-man has loved
And given himself up for me,
Satisfying the Divine Justice with his boundless Mercy.
Life can never be the same.
Anonymous Nun

Moses Being Sent

August 29, 2022

A reflection by Mother Maria-Michael Newe, OSB

We know the famous story about God telling Moses to go tell Pharaoh to let His people go. He says, “Now, go! I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people, the Israelites, out of Egypt” (Exodus 3:10). Don’t you think Moses choked at this command: “Pharaoh? I took off from there a few years ago… This isn’t what I had in mind!” And isn’t it true that in our own lives, God also sends us to those places we don’t really want to go? The things we’ve run from are the very things we slam into. We think we’ve left them far behind when we’re in a new place…But there it all is again! And you sit there saying, “Why?”

Moses says to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?” (Ex 3:11), as in, “Can we talk about somebody else going?” But God answered, “I will be with you” (Ex 3:12). There’s the difference. It’s that now you’re being sent. You’re being commissioned and now, personally, I will be with you. There is no fear when God is with us. I think that’s one of the most important things to remember: don’t be afraid of what God has ordained. Don’t fear the things of God… even when you have to run right back into the things you were fleeing from, or not really wanting to be around. Those are the places where He says, “Oh! Come right in! I’m here waiting for you.” It’s something to think about. God doesn’t want us to fear. He wants to show His power in weakness because then we’re sure it’s Him.

It’s nothing for a muscle-man to pick up a car. But if somebody who weighs 60 pounds and doesn’t look too well, walks over and picks up a car, you would say, “It can’t be him – it must be the Lord!” So He makes it evident, very often, that it’s His work and not our own. So never be surprised when you’re asked things beyond what you think you can do. God says, “This will be great. Even you will know it is I who am doing it.”

…but he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me.
2 Corinthians 12:9

Becoming Prayer

July 29, 2022

A reflection by Mother Maria-Michael Newe, OSB

The Sisters bow in reverence during the Divine Office in the chapel. Ideally, we learn to take this reverence and apply it to honoring God in every person and every created thing.

“The clear implication is that, even in our busiest and most engrossing moments, we will never be altogether forgetful of God’s goodness. In fact, the reality of the divine presence will be a kind of constant distraction so that we will occasionally smile, without apparent cause, as people are accustomed to do when they are in love.”
Demetrius Dumm, OSB, Cherish Christ Above All

We know that St. Benedict says in the Rule that one of the signs of a vocation is if the person seeks God. That’s such an important part of our lives—that we never stop seeking Him. In the Psalms it says, “Look to the Lord in his Strength, constantly seek His face” (Psalm 105:4). I think sometimes we have to remember that prayer isn’t just when we’re in the Chapel. Prayer is being in the presence of God. That’s something we learn to carry throughout our day. We learn to be in His presence in the Chapel, and then we love it so much, we desire to become being in His presence. At the end of our lives, we are to become prayer. That is our goal: that prayer never leaves us. As Benedictines, we don’t separate the Work of God (the prayer of the Divine Office) from the rest of our lives. We take it and we live it continually, wherever we go, whatever we do. We never stop being the prayer. And I would say that is the challenge of our day. To become prayer means that we never ever cease having God in our hearts, on our minds, and on our lips. But that’s something you grow into. It takes a lifetime. I think that’s the beauty of life, that you grow into being fully who you were created to be. Your life will be holy and beautiful if you allow God to be the center of it.

In the same Psalm we hear, “Glory in His Holy Name! Rejoice, O hearts, that seek the Lord!” (Psalm 105:3). There should be a spiritual joy about us. In spite of whatever is going on, the only things that are really important are those things that are Eternal. All the rest? It will vanish, and it won’t mean anything. But everything that we do that has Eternity attached to it, we need to pay attention to.

One of the things we have to pay attention to is compassion. You learn compassion from being with others. That’s why being in community is so important; you learn to love even those who don’t love you. But what a gift! It teaches you truly to love. Don’t count it amiss when you have trouble with others. Don’t count it amiss when you have to work a little harder. Count it a gift. It will teach you to love with the love of God. Be sorry for those who never have that chance. It’s so important to be tried. It is so important in the monastic life that we work hard to be better than we could ever be alone. I’m finding that more and more, as I get older, you become more compassionate because you’ve had to struggle through many things. You also have moments when you realize your mistakes and say, “Oh, I wish I hadn’t done that!” These experiences teach us to have compassion on others who are in the same situation we were in. In these cases, how could you not care?

Walk with Him

June 30, 2022

A reflection by Mother Maria-Michael Newe, OSB

It seems to me that God loves to meet people on a walk. Starting in Genesis we hear that God walked with Adam and Eve through the gardens. And we have Jesus meeting the disciples on the road to Emmaus. And we have Saul on the way to Damascus. And how many other encounters there have been, we don’t know, but I’m sure there are many. And I think they still happen today. Enjoy your walks! You never know if He is going to be upon you, quickly, and with a great deal of love. But remember He also walked His Passion. The Way of the Cross. And He met each one: His Mother, Veronica, Simeon… Think of all those He encountered on the Way, specifically.

We have to be able to allow God’s presence, and not pass Him by. On the road to Emmaus, the disciples had the chance to let Jesus go, and they didn’t. “Stay with us,” they said. I think the excitement of every day comes from wondering, “Where am I going to meet Him?” “How am I going to meet Him?”

Jesus wants our lives to be mixed with His. It’s like in a marriage, how over time a couple even grows to look alike, because they transform each other. That should be true of all of us. By the end of our lives we should be transformed. By doing things so much like Christ we should begin to look like Him. I wish that for everyone, and for you to have a lovely walk, encountering Him all along your way every day.

Loving Like Mary Magdalene

May 18, 2022

A reflection by Mother Maria-Michael Newe, OSB

The story of Mary Magdalene at the empty tomb is so delightful. She is so intent on finding Jesus. How long does it take her to notice the angels there? But they address her with such honor, “Woman, why are you weeping?” (John 20:13). Heaven is concerned when we are weeping. They don’t pass it by. They want to know why we are weeping. They want to be a part of it. They want to give us direction. I wonder how many times we’ve encountered angels and didn’t know it. It’s a beautiful thing when God breaks through our world and tries to show us the way. And it’s always to Jesus that we are being pointed.

Mary Magdalene’s great love for Jesus is so powerful. She tells the guard that she’ll take His body away; do you know how much a corpse weighs? Her love would have carried Him. It is for us to love Him just as much. It’s for us to care enough to keep searching for Him no matter what. No matter what our emotions are, or whether we’re having a good day or a bad day, it is for us to continue seeking Him, and listening to what He has to say.

Jesus will call our name. Be ready to answer. What are you going to say? “Teacher”? “My Love”? What are you going to answer when He calls your name? And we also hear Jesus asking Mary Magdalene, “Whom are you looking for?” (John 20:15). He’s going to be asking us that too. What is your answer?

So I tell you,
her many sins have been forgiven;
hence, she has shown great love.
Luke 7:47