Mother’s Reflections – Page 8 – Abbey of St. Walburga

The Blessing of Misery

January 31, 2020

A reflection on the first Mass reading for the first Tuesday in Ordinary Time (1 Samuel 1:9-20) by Mother Maria-Michael Newe, OSB

In the beautiful story about Hannah, we hear that “in her bitterness she prayed to the Lord, weeping copiously” (1 Sam 1:10). St. Benedict also says that we should weep in our prayer. This weeping happens when we allow something to touch us deeply. Now think of how Hannah could even be grateful for Peninnah (who rubbed Hannah’s barrenness in her face) because she brought her to a deeper prayer. In her bitterness Hannah did not turn away from God; she turned toward God.

We all have our moments of bitterness, of pain, and of sorrow, but the important part is what we do with them. These moments can be the greatest graces in our lives. They can be the things that push us in the right direction. So God allows them. He says, “Yes, this is actually going to be for your good…”

When we hear Hannah saying later in her prayer, “if you remember me, and do not forget me,” we seem to hear her greatest sorrow—that God has forgotten her. It seems that He has remembered Peninnah over and over again, since she had many children, and which seems to prove to Hannah that God has forgotten her. She is noticed by Eli, the temple priest, praying in an unknown way, and Eli judges her. He assumes that she’s drunk, but he takes it back after she explains her situation. Thank God for her humility. She didn’t mind being humble and telling him that she is just a very unhappy woman. She doesn’t lash out at him, she doesn’t scream at him or push him down. Instead she tells him that her prayer is prompted by her deep sorrow and misery.

I think it is simply because of the Lord’s great love for us that He allows us such sorrows. He just wants us to come to Him. And if we won’t come to Him simply, it seems He will allow greater things to happen that will force us to come to Him—because what He really wants is that relationship. So whatever will bring that about, God allows. And He can use any means. Harsh words or the feeling of being judged or unaccepted, God will use for our good. So instead of being upset, we should thank Him. Thank Him that He allowed that thing to happen because it leads us to a greater good, to Him. And then it changes how we see it; instead of being a point sorrow it becomes a point of joy.

Remember that evil only wants to take from God what He loves. So whatever can take you away from prayer, however little it may be, will be used by evil. At the same time, though, anything that brings us back to God is a tool for good. That’s a hard lesson to learn, because we usually want to blame somebody for our sorrows. Blaming someone else so much easier than acknowledging that we weren’t doing what we were supposed to be doing, or we weren’t reaching deeper into God. We look for someone else to blame so that we aren’t blamed. The minute we can start changing that, we’ve changed our lives—we’ve changed our attitude. What a blessing. And so it was with Hannah. Eli blesses her, “Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant you what you have asked of him.” Let’s wish that for one another. Let’s give that blessing. Go in peace, and may the God if Israel grant you what you have asked of Him. That is my prayer for you today.

On Eagles’ Wings

January 22, 2020

A reflection on Isaiah 40:25-31 by Mother Maria-Michael Newe, OSB

In Isaiah we hear, “He leads out their army and numbers them, calling them all by name” (Isaiah 40:26). I have a hard time with names, so if anybody can call an army, each one by name, that is a miracle. But that’s how personal God is. Nothing is by chance. We cannot fathom to what detail He takes care of our lives. Everybody has free will because God gives it, and sometimes we use it to our own detriment. But God desires to bring good out of the darkest situations.

The reading continues, “Why O Jacob, do you say, and declare, O Israel, ‘my way is hidden from the Lord’?” (Isaiah 40:27). No, it’s not. Who would believe that his way is hidden from the Lord? It astonishes me when people have the mentality that “God doesn’t know about this,” or “that won’t matter to Him,” and to make it less that it really is. We should not minimize our actions. The Church needs our holiness. We should never say, “The Lord doesn’t mind,” because the Lord does mind, and we should mind too.

Later on in Isaiah it says, “they who hope in the Lord will renew their strength, they will soar as with eagles’ wings” (Isaiah 40:31a). To soar as with eagles’ wings—could that not also mean to take that Word of God and let our souls soar to reach Him? Have you ever seen an eagle soar? They’re not flapping around; they’re just resting on the wind. Take His Word and rest in His Word. It has the power to heal, to restore the soul. “They will run and not grow weary, walk and not grow faint” (Isaiah 40:31b). God’s Word gives that power.

“And the Word became flesh, and made his dwelling among us.”
John 1:14

The Christ child on display in our chapel during the Christmas season

Zeal for Your House Consumes Me

December 28, 2019

A reflection on the John 2:13-17 (Jesus cleanses the temple), by Mother Maria-Michael Newe, OSB

I have to laugh when I think of Jesus with a cord as I think that, if He came into my house, what would He be driving out? What would I see running away hard? It’s worth thinking about. Every time we go to confession He is chasing things out for us. We are to be the house of God. He loves us as a bride. He delights in us with great delight. We are to fulfill the Scriptures, “zeal for your house consumes me”; and if we are the house of God, He has zeal for us! It consumes Him.

If we are the house of God, He has zeal for us! It consumes Him.

What consumes you? You know it by what you’re always thinking of. When something consumes you it’s like you can’t get out of it. It comes wherever you are—when you’re sleeping, when you’re waking, when you’re upset with someone and can’t stop thinking about it.

So can you imagine that God is consumed with love for us? He can’t stop thinking of us. He can’t stop doing everything for us.

Think of the great cathedrals, and realize that you are more. Gothic cathedrals, spirals to the sky—you walk into them and you’re stopped, you can’t move—and you are more. When Christ steps into you, you are more. So fulfill the Scriptures, “I will make you a pillar in the house of my God.” What do pillars do? They bear weight. Be able to bear weight. Be able to stand firm. Be what you are called to be, and remember how much you are loved.

Celebrating Mass in honor of three Sisters’ Silver Jubilees (25 years of monastic profession)

“AND THE DESIRED OF ALL NATIONS SHALL COME: and I will fill this house with glory: saith the Lord of hosts.”
—Haggai 2:8 (Douay-Rheims Bible)

On This Holy Mountain

December 17, 2019

“Let the mountains bring peace to the people”
–Psalm 72:3 (NASB), from the Mass Responsorial Psalm for December 17
…

A reflection on the Mass readings for the first Wednesday in Advent (Isaiah 25:6-10; Matthew 15:29-37) by Mother Maria-Michael Newe, OSB

Today we hear from Isaiah that “the hand of the lord will rest on this mountain” (Isaiah 25:10). And we hear in the Gospel about Christ going up the mountain, and how He sat down there and was ready to teach. The people came to Him with the blind, the mute, the deformed, and many others, and they placed them at His feet and He cured them. When we kneel we are at the Lord’s feet. That is an incredibly powerful place to be. Isaiah says that His hand will rest on this mountain, and so too, does His hand rest upon us when we kneel before Him. There we can feel secure.

I looked up the word “mountain” in the Dictionary of Biblical Theology, and it says that mountains are a place of stability, of power, a place before God, a place of revelation beyond others (we see this clearly in Christ’s Transfiguration). And all through the Old Testament we see the mountain image. Moses receives the Ten Commandments on the mountain. Elijah is on the mountain, not only hearing the whisper of God, but also hearing God tell him to go look and see if anything was coming.

We know that during His life, Jesus loved to retire to the mountains for prayer and solitude, which he sought as a refuge from the noise of daily life. And people everywhere do the same. That’s why people come here to our Abbey. They want that quiet. The mountains didn’t pass Saint Benedict by. Wasn’t he up in Subiaco? Didn’t he spend three years in a cave? Didn’t he have Monte Casino? Didn’t he build a monastery on a mountain? There’s something to say about the mountains.

We hear from Saint Benedict in the Prologue of his Rule,

“If we wish to dwell in the tent of this kingdom, we will never arrive unless we run there by doing good deeds. But let us ask the Lord with the prophets, ‘Who will dwell in your tent, Lord? Who will find rest upon your holy mountain?’ After this question, brothers, let us listen well to what the Lord says in reply, for he shows us the way to his tent. ‘One who walks without blemish,’ he says, ‘and is just in all his dealings. Who speaks the truth from his heart and has not practiced deceit with his tongue. Who has not wronged a fellow man in any way nor listened to slander against his neighbor. He has spoiled the evil one, the devil, at every turn, flinging both him and his promptings far from the sight of his heart. While these temptations are still young, he took hold of them and dashed them against Christ.’” (Prologue, v. 22-28)

That’s how we live on the holy mountain. We must take to heart what Saint Benedict teaches, who so loved the mountains because they brought him closer to God. During this Advent season, let us do what he says about how to get to the tent upon that mountain. Peter wanted to make three tents on the mountain of the Transfiguration—one for Christ, one for Moses, and one for Elijah. But we want even more than that. We want a tent for the whole world, where everybody can have a place on that mountain with Christ. So we have a chance to pray for that this Advent. When we live faithfully, how many graces does that open up to the world? When we’re willing to strive for holiness, it affects the whole Church; and God asks this of us. So let’s all together answer that call, and really help one another to be holy.

Mustard Seed

November 19, 2019

A reflection on the virtue of hope by Mother Maria-Michael Newe, OSB

We hear Jesus in the Gospel saying, “What is the Kingdom of God like? To what can I compare it? It is like a mustard seed that a man took and planted in the garden” (Luke 13:18-19). Have you ever noticed how much God likes gardens? He began life with Adam and Eve in a garden, and the Song of Songs is in a garden. In the Scriptures there are so many references to these gardens, these cultivated areas. In the mustard seed parable, Jesus continues, “When it was fully grown, it became a large bush and ‘the birds of the sky dwelt in its branches’” (Luke 13:19). To plant something is to take a chance. To plant a seed doesn’t necessarily mean that something is going to come up. So you have to hope in it. You have to keep looking and saying, “It’s going to come!”

Rubber stamp tree by our Sister Fidelis, OSB

I was reflecting on what St. Paul says, that “hope that sees for itself is not hope. For who hopes for what one sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait with endurance” (Romans 8:24-25). I think the greatest example of this virtue is God. God is the one who expresses all the virtues so beautifully. He never stops hoping. He plants everything in us full of hope. He is the one who endures. He is the one who stands firm. He is the one who never stops saying, “It will come.” So whenever we have to endure something difficult, endure things that may be evil or may seem not right, we can remember that it is God who endures the most. We can look to Him to learn how to do it. And He sits with us and says, “It is coming. Wait for it. It will not be late.”

Everything blooms according to temperature. It’s not necessarily because you plant it in April and that it will come up at the end of April or possibly May. If it’s freezing, it’s not going to happen. It all depends on what the surroundings are. Just so, we too have to be able to sit in those trying situations and never give up hope, because hope is God’s beautiful attribute toward us. He never stops hoping. And I’m sure He delights whenever things go really well—“Oh look there’s another leaf!” So I wish that for everybody, that when it is hard that you can look to God and receive all that you need, because He is looking at us with great love and hope.

On Contemplative Prayer

October 22, 2019

A reflection by Mother Maria-Michael Newe, OSB

“Contemplation is a gaze of faith, fixed on Jesus” (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2715)

The contemplative life is so promoted by the Church because it is the heart of the Church. This is also the reason evil would like to get rid of the contemplative life— It’s what keeps the heart beating. It’s what keeps the flow of blood, of life, the precious Blood of Christ, flowing through the Body of Christ. He has chosen us to live in a contemplative spirit and in a contemplative environment. We are in the monastery not because we are holy but because we want to get there. And we live a life in which we have times together to learn to pray and live in the presence of God so that our eyes do not swerve away from Him. You can live that way at all times. Of course you need to pay attention to your work, but as St. Benedict says in the Prologue of the Holy Rule, “every time you begin a good work, you must pray to him most earnestly to bring it to perfection.” He is the only one who can make it perfect. And “perfect” means the spirit in which you give it. Even if it is a failure in one way, if you give it fully, it is no failure in the eyes of God. In Chapter 7:27 of the Rule we hear, “…At all times the Lord looks down from heaven on the sons of men to see whether any understand and seek God.” There you see the purpose of it all. Do we understand? Do we want to understand? Are we seeking God in all things? “And if every day the angels assigned to us report our deeds to the Lord day and night, then, brothers, we must be vigilant every hour” (Holy Rule, Ch. 7, v. 28). That is the key: vigilance. We must be vigilant in prayer.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church has a beautiful chapter on contemplative prayer. It says, “The choice of the time and duration of the prayer rises from a determined will, revealing the secrets of the heart. One does not undertake contemplative prayer only when one has the time: one makes time for the Lord, with the firm determination not to give up, no matter what trials or dryness one may encounter” (CCC, 2710). This is known by all of those who have faith and live for God. There are times of dryness when we are tempted to ignore what we are called to, but it is only a temptation. In order to follow through, we have set times of prayer, because that’s what it takes—determination. We remember that no matter how we are, God loves us. He loves us immensely. He longs for us more than we could ever long for him. He waits for us. To come in dryness is to stand by him in the time of trial. It is so powerful. To belong to him when it is most difficult is to stand by him on the cross.

What really matters, and we need to pray for this grace, is that we grow in holiness. Don’t be afraid to ask where you need do better. Don’t be afraid, but face that question head on, so that you can become holy. We have to strive for it. And God loves to lift us up from our sinfulness; so be assured that it is greater for him when we need his passion and death. Use it. Call up on it. God expects this. He hasn’t called us to something he can’t give to us, but we need to ask. Life is short, and at any moment he can bring us to holiness. He can bring us from the very depths to the heights in just one second of desire. That’s all it takes. God is so great, greater than anything. Call upon him. He wills it.

Drawing of a nun at prayer by our Sister Maria-Placida, OSB

The Glorious Assumption of Mary

August 29, 2019

A reflection by Mother Maria-Michael Newe, OSB, on the Solemnity of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary, celebrated every year on August 15

The meaning of the Solemnity of the Assumption of Mary is that of culmination and a new beginning. With Our Lady’s assumption into heaven, the promises of the Lord were fulfilled for her and as always, beyond all expectation. I would have loved to have seen Mary’s face at her arrival into heaven. She saw her Son under the horror of the Cross; and I’m sure that never left her heart. But now she gets to see the glory of her Son and she shares in that. Remember that as she came to heaven, she was body and soul—she had an expression on her face. And that expression has never left her. The beauty of her Son seated on His throne…

The word “assumption” comes from the Latin word “assumere,” meaning, “to take to oneself.” Our Lord Jesus Christ took Mary home to Himself where He is. Now, on Mary’s part, it was the work of a lifetime of being watchful and ready to preserve the deifying light in her soul. In the Prologue of the Rule of St. Benedict, we hear, “Let us open our eyes to the light that comes from God.” Mary never took her eyes off of the light that comes from God, her Son. Further on in the Rule it says, “Run while you have the light of life, that the darkness of death may not overtake you.” Well we could say that Mary ran the marathon of life and outran sin! She never stood around long enough for sin to “attach” itself to her. There was no selfishness in Mary for sin to cling to. And isn’t most sin about selfishness? And while we also remember that Mary is the sorrowful Mother, her sorrow was never about herself. Mary’s sorrows have only to do with anything that separates us from the love and life of Christ. It would be good for us to imitate Mary in knowing true sorrow instead of selfish sorrow.

There is a story, that perhaps you have heard, of a very holy woman who would serve God’s people during the day without ceasing to pray. She would go to bed late at night but would get up early every morning to continue to serve. And when she would get up in the morning, as soon as her feet hit the floor, hell shook and said, “Oh no, she’s up!” I pray that could be said for every one of us. But for that to happen, we have to live like Mary—attentive to the body of Christ, attentive to one another, attentive to everything that separates anybody from the love of Christ and His life.

Mary’s assumption did not mark the end of her service. On the contrary, her service could now assume its universal work. We read in Lumen Gentium that “taken up to heaven, she did not lay aside this saving role, but by her manifold acts of intercession continues to win for us gifts of eternal salvation. By her maternal charity, Mary cares for the brethren of her Son who still journey on…” And Mary cares for us. Let us do nothing that would grieve the immaculate heart of Mary. Let us live in her presence.

As we celebrate the Assumption let us make our house a place where Mary wants to dwell. That takes work and it takes love. Mary suffered, but she loved more than she suffered. Like Mary, we too have to pay more attention to what we love than to what we suffer.

“Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. Thus we shall always be with the Lord. Therefore, console one another with these words.”
1 Thessalonians 4:17-18

The Gift of the Spirit

July 9, 2019

A reflection on Pentecost Sunday by Mother Maria Michael Newe, OSB

In Eden, after the Fall, the focus of Adam and Eve that was once directed toward God and eternal things was drawn to earth like a magnet. Love was twisted from being centered on God to being centered on self, and this is the great tragedy of our fallen state. But Pentecost changes everything for us. The Holy Spirit gives us the ability to strive to love rightly again. The gift of the Spirit prompts us to hate the weeds (our sins) that keep trying to take root in our souls. Our goal should be to return to Eden in our souls; and we do this through contrition and Reconciliation, responding to the Spirit’s promptings to continually uproot our vices by sorrowing over them and seeking the loving mercy of the Father. Remember the parable that Jesus Himself uses to teach us about the love of our Father in Luke 15, and let us never tire of running to the One who receives us as the loving father receives his prodigal son.

Not only does the Spirit grant us the grace of conversion; various virtues and gifts are given as well. In The Dialogue of St. Catherine of Siena, we read her beautiful insight into how the Lord deigned that we each receive different virtues in order to build each other up, to build up the Body of Christ for the good of the world. The Lord said to her, “Why do I give this person one virtue and that person another, rather than giving them all to one person? It is true that all the virtues are bound together, and it is impossible to have one without having them all. But I give them in different ways so that one virtue might be, as it were, the source of all the others. So to one person I give charity as the primary virtue, to another justice, to another humility, to another a lively faith or prudence or temperance or patience, and to still another courage. … I have distributed them all in such a way that no one has all of them. Thus have I given you reason—necessity, in fact—to practice mutual charity. For I could well have supplied each of you with all your needs, both spiritual and material. But I wanted to make you dependent on one another so that each of you would be my minister, dispensing the graces and gifts you have received from me” (click here for full text of The Dialogue of St. Catherine of Siena). How very cunning of the Lord to make us need one another. Do you know what your primary virtue is? Ask! Ask! I need your gifts. The Church needs your gifts. Strive eagerly to know our virtues so that we can serve each other well. Remember that without the virtue of love, all the virtues count for nothing. Yes, above all, we must strive to love as God does, first of all by allowing ourselves to be loved by God. Then we will restore Eden in our souls, and in this way bring the Kingdom of God to earth. May we all do this, and may He bring us all together to life everlasting!

Walking with the Apostles

June 23, 2019

Excerpts from Mother Maria Michael’s daily reflections given to the community throughout this Easter season, highlighting the ways in which we can follow in the footsteps of the first disciples

Commenting on Acts 9, the first Mass reading from the third Friday of Easter:

We have much to learn from the reading about St. Paul’s conversion. He had the courage to ask God the question, “Who are you?”, and once he knew that it was Jesus, he made a 180 degree turn and followed Him, he who had up to that moment been persecuting Christians for the sake of God. His zeal was for God all along, only it was misguided. So he was open and ready to change his mind and his life once he had been enlightened by Jesus. It goes to show that when we truly want to know God and do His will, He will guide us. However, it may require a complete change of heart on our part, as was the case with St. Paul. Our sinful ways are never the end; Christ’s Resurrection has the final word, and so our sins can be the very things that lead us to God if we let them. Whenever we do our Lectio Divina, we should approach the Word in this way, open and ready to be surprised by God. The course of our day, the course of our lives, can be changed by the truth He reveals to us through our prayerful reading, meditation and listening.

Commenting on Acts 16, the first Mass reading from the fifth Saturday of Easter:

We hear that Paul and Timothy were prevented by the Holy Spirit from going to Asia to preach. I think this means that they knew how to listen well to the Spirit’s guidance in their lives; they must have cultivated that spirit of silent listening that is so important, that joyful silence which listens for the voice of God with the ears of the heart. In this way of being, you are even open to interruptions and failures because with God’s grace you learn to accept them as gifts from the hand of God. You may experience suffering or see suffering and not understand, but that is where faith comes in, trusting in God’s wisdom above one’s own, believing that He truly is working for the good. Yes, our ways are different than the world’s ways, because it the world tells us that we need to have an answer to everything. But as Christians we must try to accept the mysteries of life and not always need to explain them.

Commenting on Acts 22-23, the first Mass reading from the seventh Thursday of Easter:

It is good to have our motives questioned, as Paul’s were before the Sanhedrin, even when we feel that we are being accused unjustly. It is a great benefit for us to see criticism as a gift, because then no matter what, whether we are being flattered or persecuted, we can be grateful that God is giving us the opportunity to evaluate our intentions. He desires for us to stand before Him with a clear conscience, regardless of what anyone else thinks, so He allows us to be tested in this way in order that our motives may be purified. After asking ourselves whether or not an accusation about us is true, we can move forward with that self-knowledge and act accordingly, grateful for the gift of self-knowledge we have received through the experience. Through this process we will purified in our intention to do everything, no matter how small, for the glory and honor of the Father.

Reflection on Ascension Sunday:

It is hard to imagine how difficult it must have been for the apostles to go from living in community with Jesus to trying to function without Him after His Ascension. But we know that He did not leave them orphans. They had to learn, as we do now, how to recognize His presence within themselves and in each other. I imagine they had the grace to live in the way Brother Lawrence describes in his book The Practice of the Presence of God, where God is everywhere and in everyone and everything, we have only to ask for the eyes to see Him. Do we act and speak as if Christ were dwelling in the other? This is the great challenge and adventure of the Christian life, to always be on the lookout for God, joyfully anticipating finding Him in each person we meet, and yes, within our very selves.

Embracing the Cross

May 3, 2019

A reflection on the triumph of Love by Mother Maria Michael Newe, OSB

I was thinking about the incredible words we sing during the Divine Office on the Feast of St. Andrew: “Seeing the cross [of his own martyrdom], Andrew cried out with joy, ‘O precious cross! Truly I have always loved you, and I have desired to embrace you.’”

This is a disciple who ran away in the garden of Gethsemane—he didn’t stand by Jesus on the cross—so the greatest gift that could be given to him was another chance to stand by the cross. What did he do with it? He embraced it. He longed for that moment to tell Christ, “I love you, and I want to be with you, wherever that leads.” This is the power of the triumph of the cross. Love is the triumph of the cross. When we love enough that we no longer fear the crosses in our lives but we embrace them and we long for them because they unite us with him who has loved us beyond all love, that is the triumph of the cross. So today we celebrate that we no longer fear the cross; it is truly the exaltation. Of course we cannot do this of ourselves. St. Andrew, St. Peter, none of them, could have embraced the cross on their own, but with divine strength they could embrace and kiss it. And their suffering turned into gratitude. Yes, when we can thank God for the crosses in our life, God has triumphed. When we can see that it is Love that has given us once again the chance to prove our love, we will rejoice and say, “Amen!” and run toward it, because we have a chance to prove our love. Let us pray today that the cross may triumph in our own lives, because it will not happen on our own. It is completely divine strength.

May this Easter season bring you much joy in the resurrection of Our Lord, who suffered his cross for the love of us, that we might have a sense of the depths of his love and desire to return our love for his.

Artwork by Sr. Ancilla Armijo, OSB